Musings: On a day like Today

Walking the cold, windy streets of this bustling city the heart covets for your companionship that surpasses the solitude I have come to love. A languid sigh, a wistful comfort. I collect pace with the dream of your smile. Playing a selection of blues, I wonder if you would come to draw as much harmony until I converge in oneness with the life around. Louis Armstrong sings to me "A kiss to build a dream on.." and even while Iam devouring the melancholic cadence it only strikes to me that the song will come to its end in a few unrestful moments. How I loathe the change in rhythm when Iam comforted by a certain now. But solace arrives in the recollection of an equally beautiful, gloomy rendition of Billie Holiday's "The Way you look Tonight" to follow suit. I urge my angst to recede until then and transport back to the mist of Armstrong's damp breeze... I enjoy walking on a day like today... The iPod and the hustle of the city take away all the indolence of the labor. I match my feet to the rhythm in the ear. I waltz past the oldest block of the city made look so elegant by the sequence of restaurants and the stone walkway; the mediterranean-inspired architecture, the undenying strain of a musician playing the cello by the fountain hoist my spirits till the feet floats effortlessly. The 19th century venician style cafe around the corner is a wondrous sight with its tasteful, dim interior gleaming through the impeccably clear, streak-free hard glass panes. Alas! Juxtaposition in its finest form. The elegance beckons with a warm aroma that lightens circumventing all the little worries of the day, strain of the toil. Allowing the rich darkness to swallow I lustfully reach for the chair by the window. You will be here soon I assure myself ; and the cafe, quiet walks and music-inspired alleviation will no longer be imperative. How I have missed your shoulder, the tight squeeze, the free, everflowing counsel. You guide me from within, but I will anyday like it best Real. What an endless drag it has been these few years. The witless games, your countless pet peeves, the compassionate tear rolling down your lemon cheek, late night dialogue on anything, my exhilaration and your humorless response, the warm look in your eyes, the frowning whirl of your eyebrows, the touch of your hands, your elated voice, the silence in sympathy, the savvy in you...I thirst everything that I absorbed into myself for subsistence.
On a day like today, I would unravel to myself your influence in me. All I ask is, My Love, absorb me in your warm light once again. While the dream of your presence I carry with me always is much comfort, your persona in all physicality is salvation. Come to me my dearest! Let me caress away all your worries so that you can help me dust away mine.

Will I Have You

My pretty garden
there is hope in you,
The dream of the colors you will show
when spring comes. I water you this morning
will you grow?

My garden of courage
you are buds today
The dream of your bold, colorful faces will come someday
I give you sunlight this morning
will you grow?

Oh! my garden of love,
I have been waiting for you
The dream of your strong roots is not far away.
I caress you this morning
will you stay?

My garden of beauty
You fulfill my dreams. Your smiling heads sway
in the morning breeze and i sit by the window wondering,
what can i do to make you stay?

Pensive Mood: Moonlit Reflections

Iam told very often solitude is not good to indulge. Humored i may seem but iam a loner within. Some journeys are best taken alone specially the ones that lead to revelation. The moonlit night is contemplative in nature. They call it 'pathetic fallacy'. In this pensive moment I will resolve to collect what i have scattered over the years. There are grey, poignant memories of yesteryear that I have reserved to brood over for a reflective day or when I feel much brave to confront it within. Shame and remorse inevitably follow bringing a dull pain. While some do not encourage guilt to camp indefinitely, there are also some of us who dread guilt for what it hurts..The Ego!. There was a choice, there is in every moment of decision. Some decisions are made for you and some you make on your own. And these choices define me. I gently ascertain my responsibility. I chant to myself everyday "Iam not for everybody to like but very few to love" so that I can calmly sink into my skin. Everybody awaits an ideal support who can brush away all their worries and stroke their hair and assure that it is all ok. And Iam glad I found mine... I came closer trusting with my deepest memories for the reward of vindication. Oh! how I cherish this fresh memory, pleasant and sprightly. Tranquility! will you be my friend?